Posted by: Devin | December 16, 2016

A Marriage to Self 

​Dear Self,  

I just wanted to tell you that I love you. You have gone through so much in the past year, and have proven yourself to be stronger, braver, and more beautiful than I ever dreamed you could be. The changes I continue to see in you are things of pure magic, and the ember that you kept glowing within you is transforming into a wonderful, burning flame.  

I know you get lonely and scared, but I want you to know that you are so strong, and talented, and heroic. You made decisions that were extremely difficult, but you followed your heart and made them anyway, knowing you deserved to be free.  

Look at you, trying new things, meeting new people, living in a new place. You are a warrior, and you’ve done this without falling back into alcohol use or other harmful activities. That is amazing.  

Don’t you let that fire out. Don’t you dare. I know at times it sputters as gusts of wind try to snuff it out, but you keep burning, little flame, you stay alive and full of light. You have so much love to share with this world, just look at the people you’ve drawn closer to you, feel how much they care about you. That is real, and you deserve to be loved and thought of fondly. You really do.  

Anyone outside of your situation who doesn’t give you the support, love, and encouragement you deserve? That is not through any shortcoming on your part. You have done exactly what your heart knew needed to be done.  

If others think differently of you because of those necessary choices, that is their issue, not yours. Only you know what needed to be done and know what you desire in life to be happy. Never live to please others. True happiness must blossom from within.  

Those ideas spinning around your head about ways to help others? Do it. Embrace the present, grasp this fleeting moment, and put yourself out there. Do it FOR YOU. Do it because the storm in you must be released. Do it for the freedom. Do it for the peace, for the love and the strength that is so big and so bright that you cannot possibly keep it inside.  

Make art and write about your struggles, your successes, your dreams and your fears. If no one else understands, that doesn’t matter as long as you do these things out of love and of light.  

You got this. Keep trekking down the path and see where it goes. Grasp the hands offered to you, and extend your hands in turn if you are willing and able to assist others. Tell yourself that you are loved, that you deserve to be happy, to be treated well, to be told you are beautiful and amazing. You are. You really and truly are.  

Cry when you need to. Don’t keep those emotions inside. Laugh at yourself. Keep exploring your mind and tinkering with different ways to keep yourself at peace. Enjoy this ride, however long it lasts. Make it count, make it gorgeous, and make it full of love.  

No matter how dark things may sometimes get, you’ve already survived through so much. Accept life’s lessons, use them to guide you and help you grow. You are doing great, and I’m so, so proud of you.  

I know exactly what you’ve been through.  

I see you. 

I hear you. 

I feel you. 

I AM you. 

I Love, 
You

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