Posted by: Devin | December 22, 2012

Tears Before Strummer Day Ends

I set out today to be inspired by you, and I believe I was successful. I created things while thinking of you, things that you moved me to create. I listened to your words, spoke to your fans, and realized how much you still resonate with all of us.

I realize now that every day is precious, that every day is Joe Strummer Day. You are more than a singer, more than an artist and performer…you are a symbol of free thoughts, of being who I really am, of a strength that is generated from within. I am not guaranteed a life of a certain length; none of us are. You have shown me that the world can easily be pulled away from us, and that I must embrace every day for the gift it truly is.

I cannot say anything you don’t already know, Joe. You know your words move me, that I am profoundly touched by everything you created. You so selflessly poured yourself into this world, leaving behind such beauty and magic in your wake. I feel you in everything, in everything I encounter, if only I take the time to stop and reflect.

You are more than an artist, you are a human being, a spirit, a soul that has freed me and made me embrace the fullness of all that I am. When I am scared, when I am apprehensive, when it seems like to take one more step would be too scary…your inspiration is there.

Joe, you were with us for so short a time, yet we were lucky to have had you at all. To have been so fortunate to have your words, your lyrics, your personality, your humbleness and grace, was more meaningful than any material possession I could ever receive.

I never got to meet you, or see your perform in person, but I am comforted by knowing those who were lucky…and by believing that you are still here, that you somehow are still out there, spreading your addictive grin and positive energy to all of us.

Joe, never think you are only remembered for being a member of The Clash. You are remembered for being a symbol of freedom, of inspiration, a reminder that we must never for one second forget who we are, that this is a fleeting moment in the eternal history of the universe, that it is better to risk and fail than never to risk at all.

Joe, my tears spill forth once again, only this time I do not hold them back. It is not solely because I am saddened, but because I am so touched, so moved, so grateful and full of love for you, that words could never be enough. My insides, my spirit, cannot contain the emotions you stir up in me.

Today I have realized that the world is connected, that all of us have more in common than we realize, that if we only take the time to stop, to feel, to experience, to LIVE, we will see that through our imperfections, because of them, we are beautiful.

The world is an ugly place at times, but through you, I have realized that beauty is still to be found everywhere. In the silence of a night as the wind blows through the branches, in the static hiss of a radio untuned, in the beating of my heart, in the random smiles of a stranger. You are not forgotten.

You are here. You exist. Be it spiritually or through the memories of those whose lives you have touched, you are here. You live, you endure, your substance lingers on.

I cannot put into words how I feel. Today was one of the best memories of my life, sincerely. I was so afraid of this day, afraid of the emotions it would stir up in me, but I learned to embrace them all and to realize that tears are a thing of importance and beauty.

I do not easily cry, and Joe, I cry for you. For the meaning you have helped instill in my life, for the music you gave us, for the dreams you help us realize. Joe, it is hard to accept that we only had you for fifty years, but we could have had you for so much less.

I do not know what to say to you…I can only send out the energy you’ve ignited in my soul, and trust that you feel everything I cannot explain. For those who believe in nothing but here and now, as I so recently did, Joe…you still move them to tears. I am thankful not only for your music, but for your life. I know at times it wasn’t easy, but you did not give up. You persevered, you turned pain into beauty, you gave and you gave and you made us feel on a level with you.

This past year has changed me profoundly, more than I ever thought I could be changed. I was so sure, so set in my ways, but you once again connected with me in ways I will never forget. Everything has its purpose, and though it hurts, it is also beautiful to know that, though you are gone, you remain a fixture of so many lives.

My heart is filled with gratitude, with love and appreciation for everything you did and continue to do for us…

 

…I am talking circles in my mind, running ’round and up down. I am going to now light candles for you, as a simple that, in the darkness in this light, you are one of the lights and rays of hope that keeps my life lit.

You were and are a gift, Joe. Worth more than silver and gold, with the rare ability and fortune to affect too many of us to count. Ten years is so short a time, yet it feels like so long all the same.

It hurts so badly because we know what beauty we miss. Yes, you are here in various ways, but it rips me apart inside to know I can never…hug you, thank you in person. But I know somehow you know…that you feel my emotions and tears…and even if you don’t, the people who love you sense how I feel, and in that way, you also go on.

Every little thing I do matters; I realize that now. Every little action has the ability to change someone’s life, to alter the course of the world.

You could have chosen not to be a musician, to not put yourself out in the public eye. But you did. And we are grateful, Joe. We are moved beyond words, we are rendered speechless, we sit here, ten years on, crying because anything else fails to showcase how much we are moved.

The world may be ugly, the world may be cruel, life may throw bullshit and tragedies from all sides, but you are a flickering light in that darkness. You are imperfect, were not perfect, and there is comfort in that. Your energy is a solace, something to turn to when things seem too tough.

So many people have written beautiful things about you today; I do not know what I can add that hasn’t been said. I will just extend my most sincerest of thanks and my wishes that you remain well, that your fans and family remain happy and know of love, and that you continue to inspire us all to be more than we think we are capable of being.

You are not just a rock star to us, Joe. You are a fellow human being, and that is why we relate to you on such a deep level. I have never, NEVER been so moved to tears in such a way. My personal belief is that you do still exist, in some way, somewhere, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful for your wonderful, giving spirit, for your laughter, your inspiration, your beauty and your grace.

And now…I light candles…for you are a shining light in the dark to so many of us.

Joe…Woody…John Graham Mellor…you are SO appreciated and loved. We love you, we remember, we are here and we are free.

Love, life, and laughter,

Me

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